Insulting Mariah
by Nyaru
Summary: slight yaoi, and insults for the neon pink blob! May be extended to a story if lots of reviews are recieved. (hint hint)
1. Babysitting

Hello there!!! This is my 2nd fic and its supposed to be kinda funny, I thought it was funny but that's just me. Ok if you like Mariah, I wouldn't read this, it's not amazingly bad but it's kinda against her.

Anywhoo, on with the fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade *sob*…….

Insulting Mariah 

"So Kai, do you wanna baby sit with the rest of us?" asked Rei

"……" Kai gave no answer or any indication that he had heard Rei. Then Tyson spoke up,

  "There'll be free beer!" Kai looked up with an evil expression on his face

"Beer you say? Hmmmm… you've persuaded me…lets go!" He nearly shouted the last two words

*~*~*~*~*

(Walking down the road)

Max and Rei laced their fingers together as they walked in front of the group, with Kenny and Tyson behind them and Kai behind them.  Then, without warning, ma-baka, I mean Mariah came out of the nearest shop, (bad luck really!) her eyes narrowed at Max and Rei's intertwined fingers. She bounced across the road and shrieked,

"HI REI-KOI!!"

All of the Bladebreakers inwardly groaned. Great the neon BLOB was here!

"Hey Mariah, how many times do I have to tell you I'm not your koi!!!!!" said Rei through gritted teeth

"Yeah whatever! So where are you going?" she asked, she got no answer so she huffed, then when they tried to move away she followed them.  When they realised she wasn't going to GO AWAY! Kenny answered,

"Babysitting"

"Why?" asked a confused pink blob

 "Because," Rei said, " it pays, I can spend time with my friends and my koi and-" Rei was cut off by Kai and Tyson,

"AND FREE BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*~*~*~*~*

While Mariah was out of the room Rei said to the boy he had his arms around

"Max, remind me why she's here!" Max answered loudly just as Mariah came back in,

"Well someone needs to watch the baby while we make out!"

All of the Bladebreakers (including a tipsy Kai) stifled giggles at the look on Mariah's face. 

*~*~*~*~*

"I don't see what the big deal is with babies" complained Mariah

"They're pink, they smell and they're always whining!" she added

An evil glint came into Max's eye

"You haven't changed much have you Mariah?" said Max calmly and politely.

Everyone broke out laughing (yes, Kai was laughing!), except Mariah who seemed to be doing a gold fish impression.

*~*~*~*~*

Hehe…that was amusing, gotta say thanks to Peeps Inferior who helped with this story! Hey peeps you can have a drunk Kai plushie, so does everyone else who reviews!!!


	2. Catwalk

Hello, I decided to write another chapter because this idea was to good to give up. Yes people (if anyone's even reading this), another chapter with Ma-baka, insults and Beer!

Chapter two, The Catwalk.

"So Kai, wanna do this Charity Fashion show with us?" asked Rei

"…" He received no answer; Kai didn't even look up. Tyson walked through the room to get to the kitchen and boredly said

"Beer" That was enough to convince Kai.

"Fine, I'll do it, but only because I'm the designated supervisor" he said with visions of Beer (sweet, wonderful beer…) running through his head.

Then, as bad lady luck would have it, there was a harsh knock on the door and a shriek of,

"REI-KOI!!!!! ARE YOU IN THERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

The Bladebreakers tried to ignore this interruption and carry on getting their outfits ready for the show. But after 10 minutes of this shrieking torture even Kai's eye was twitching, and they got ready to give in. 

Momentarily the banging and hollering ceased,

"Is it gone? Is it safe?" His question was answered when neon pink talons were dragged down the windowpane.

"Aren't you gonna let me in?" the pink blob screeched 

"Dear GOD! Please no…" Kenny whispered 

This was all too much for Tyson and he snapped. Running to the front door he practically tore it off its hinges and yelled,

"WHAT?????!!!!!!??!?!?!?"

   "Where's my Rei-koi?"

Tyson fell over anime style and Max stepped over him to confront the pink girl.

"A) He's MY koi B) What the hell do you WANT?"

She stepped inside, slammed the door behind her, ran into the front room and glomped Rei.

"Get.. off … of," Max struggled out, trying to prise Ma-baka, I mean, Mariah, off of his boyfriend, "him … NOW!!"  Once he had succeeded in getting Rei out of her death grip, he glared at her and said, "Were doing a fashion show, happy?"

"OOoooOOOO, a fashion show, ill join in!!"  She squealed like an excited piglet.  A look of disgust passed over Max's face, but that soon changed to a smug grin as inspiration hit him, "Sure, you can come help, it'll be, 'fun'"

Mariah ran out of the house still squealing merrily about some 'cute' new out fit she's bought, oblivious to Max's plan.

Rei grabbed Max by the arm and asked him,

"So why did you let Mariah come along this time?"

Max grinned at him innocently

"I'm the commentator!"

This gained a collective and soft "ahhhhhhhh ……" from the rest of the blade breakers.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Now, if this were a Mariah loving story, she would be wearing something that perfectly accentuates her 'fantastic' figure and reflects her 'charming' personality. But this is not, I repeat NOT, a Mariah loving story and her outfit will reflect thus.

On with the story

(Deek cackles quietly in the back round)  

*~*~*~*~*~*

Kenny and Rei had previously gone down the Catwalk and were now watching with the audience.

"And now we have Kai, sporting a Victorian-esque, gothic, black velvet evening suit."

 Kai ran out of the wings and proceeded to hurtle down the catwalk.

"And what's this? Kai appears to be running like there's no tomorrow! He's going; he's off the Catwalk and into the Audience. Sorry Madam, we'll replace the wig after the show. Lookatim go ladies and gents, look at him go!!!!"

Kai ran to the bar.

"One Guinness please, no! Make that TWO!!!!!!!!" he said breathlessly clutching at the bartop.

Tyson followed suit and was soon downing his third Guinness.

"Well he was supposed to go last but hey, lets play it as it lies! And next up, the last, ahem, Model of the night," Max sighed, Mariah" 

Mariah paraded down the Catwalk in a powder pink tube top and hideously pink, patent, skin tight, fake leather trousers. Max grinned maliciously

"Just like herself, Mariah's clothes are loud, obnoxious, ugly and horrifyingly distracting."

A familiar girl with black hair and red bangs yelled from the audience

"AND CRAP!!" then grinned and threw a thumbs up sign at Rei.  

 Mariah tried, and failed, to retain her last shred of dignity, by marching back up the aisle. Promptly one of the heels of her cheap white boots snapped and she fell into the wings.

Max gave a self satisfied "HA!" and said triumphantly "2-0 to me!"

*~*~*~*~*

So what do you think of this chapter? If the inspiration stick hits my sister or me again, there might be another chapter. R + R people!!!

Oh and before I forget a Kai plushie, dressed as in the fashion show, goes to Peeps Inferior and anyone else who reviews!!!!


	3. Movie night

Okay! Hello people that actually read this story! This is finally the next chapter of Insulting Mariah! (Max cheers in the background) Mariah: I'm the star ) Yeah.. right. whisper who let the freak in? Anyway lets get on with the ma-baka, I mean, the Mariah bashing! Deek: Good save dumbass! Hey I'm hurt, so here ya go people.try and enjoy; now where did Deek go. Oh and thank you to all the people that reviewed! But a special thanks goes to Vampyre Neko, who was my inspiration.

I redid this chappie because it was all lumped together and annoying!

Chapter 3- Movie night!

Once upon a time in a far away land called earth, lived 5 people (actually there's like 80 billion, but we will concentrate on these 5), who were into a sport called Beyblade. They also happened to coincidently be the world champions too.. But that isn't what this is all about; this is all about when one pink thing interferes..

As Kenny nervously knocked on Kai's door he wondered to himself 'Why do I always seem to do this?' "Umm, Kai, do you wanna watch a movie with us?" Kenny managed to say. Kai said nothing, when all of a sudden Tyson appeared "We got.BEER!" he giggled. Kai's ears pricked at the mention of beer. "Okay, I'll supervise-" he said and added quietly to himself "-the beer, to me to me beer.my.precious." "What was that Kai?" asked Tyson amusedly. "I-I said, I'll be down in a minute you.you.dorkus!" said Kai in a real UNconvincing tone.

When all 5 bladers were gathered in the living room, Kenny put the video in, then quickly ran to the little boys room.

Suddenly a high-pitched wailing came from outside the door.

It could only mean one thing.

"It's here" Max said simply and gravely, he slipped out of his boyfriends lap, looked through the peep-hole in the door and was blinded by the. "Pink" he shuddered.

In slow motion he reached for the door handle. The door creaked open slowly as if in slow motion.again.

"I'm gonna have to mend this damn door, it gets stuck all the time!" growled Max.

"HI!" screeched the hideous pink, whatever it is, but before it, I mean he, sorry, she could say anything, Max interrupted. "Sorry, we're not interested in buying any crappy pink stuff, ok?" he paused and with a fake sorry voice said "Oh, Mariah, didn't realise it was you, I saw the cheap pink clothes, but it didn't click who you were, not a very easy mistake to make, but hey."

The insults seemed to bounce off of her, then again, the probably bounced off her big boobs; I mean they are big enough.hehe.

She stepped past Max (who got thrown into the wall by her BOOBS!), tripped over on her cheap, tacky and eww pink crap buckets that she called shoes and landed on the pink blobby thing that she called her face, she bounced off of her face, rolled a few meters and landed on the unsuspecting Kenny. Poor guy, we salute you.but wait! What's this? It appears that Ma- baka's, I mean Mariah's humongous boobs are suffocating Kenny, oh God! Have mercy!

Tyson tried futilely to remove the unwanted pink stain- oh, on closer inspection; he appears to have tried to wash Mariah off! Finally by the time they had removed the unwanted thing, their fear, had come true.Kenny.was dead.they put him in his room. "Who's gonna do my Beyblade for me now?" wailed Tyson, Max and Rei were hugging, and Kai, well he was still drinking that, sweet, sweet.beer.drool

Now Mariah was rolling around on the floor shrieking some random, undecipherable song when she saw Kenny's bedroom door open, the stupid Mariah blinked idiotically for several moments, the Bladebreakers were so happy that Kenny was alive (but Kai was kinda on the floor.drunk) Then Mariah (the loser!) started screaming "I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Max said in reply, "Well, would you like to swap, 'cause unfortunately, I have to put up with seeing hideous, ugly pink things!"

"I like pink." Giggled Mariah "Wait, were you insulting me?" "Finally got it! Wow" in record time too" grinned Max. Mariah huffed out with her nose in the air, if she had been looking where she was going, she would have realised that the stairs were there.hahahahaha. "Hahahaaa." said a very drunk Kai.

You know what, I think this chapter might not have turned out as bad as I thought, please review! I'll give every one who does a voodoo Mariah doll (includes pins!) Thank you!


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